i am at work now.
wasnt able to slp well last night.
cause at about 1plus am . i doze off alittle and woke up in tears.
cause i dream that he was being taken away becos of some stuff.
i cried and cried. look at my phone. wanted to call him and see if he's okays.
i jus wanted to knw he's alright. but i didnt call. just stare at my hp. and tears just keeps falling.
cause i dont wna him to feel that i am very fan. ]]:
mayb he's right. i dont wna doesnt mean i can. cause is his life . his freedom and stuff.
but ............... i just dont wna see anything bad happening to him. ]]:
he's the second person that i teared so much. sighs. ]:
mayb i shouldnt have knew euu in the first place causing us now .
friends not like friends. sighs. all i wanted was just euu to be happy and fine in everything. i know that ure not very happy nowadays but when i see euu and euu try to put on a brave front i feel so hurt and worried. cos that isnt euu at all. sighs.
i may not be of any help that ure encountering now. but whatever have happen alr happen. we cant do anything about it. no matter how euu guys talked about it. its not gna make any changes.
i just wna euu to knw that i am always there. and if euu were to need someone by your side. ill be there. sighs.
just wna see the smile that euu have in the past which i first knew euu.
and not now. the euu trying to put on that fake smile.
sorry for asking all those ques that night. i was jus worried and wanted to knw the truth. turns out bad for the both of us. mayb i should start drawing a distance from euu thou i knw its really hard. but i am really going to nowhere.
for a moment euu might treat me nice. or mayb is i think ure doing so. for the next moment euu treat me as thou as a stranger. sighs.
what are euu really thinking ?
]]:
i am so afraid of losing euu and never be able to see euu again. sighs.
not trying to control ure life and i also have no right in doing so. becos i am ure nobody.
just take it as a friend concern or so.
but really . which friend knw that your doing the wrong thing and will not persuade euu in stopping.
sighs.
i really dont knw what to do. am just so scared. have been tearing over euu nowadays feeling so retarded because i am worried over someone that doesnt even show care or concern to me.
anw. whatever it is. if euu happen to see this.
I DONT WNA ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU. AND KNW I AM ALWAYS THERE FOR EUU IF EUU JUST NEED SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE.
i cant seems to fall asleep in peace nowadays.
whenever i close my eyes. i am afraid ill never see euu the next moment.
i wna talk to euu. but i dont have to courage to do.
all i need was euu to care, was it too much to ask for.
if euu were to care or dont. just let me knw.
dont have to bother whether i feel hurt cause i rather knw the truth.
and ill knw where i stand and will never bother euu again.
dont give me false hope and thrashed it all over again and again.
i just need to knw. how euu really feel.
sighs.
bestie , its really difficult for me not to fall for him. i knw its not worthwhile.
but i jus dont knw why .
sighs.
he's the second person i teared so much for.
i dont asked for his love in return . just dont wna anything to happen to him.
sighs.
hate myself!
mum said she might be going to australia this coming dec if i am not wrong. cos she said that the air tic was cheap. think she's going over to perth if i am not wrong. cos wasnt in the mood to entertain anyone. mayb just him. ]: mum asked if i were wna to follow. but i said no. cos i rather stay in s'pore to see him. sighs. tupid right. but well . seriously . i rather stay in s'pore to see him los. sighs. mayb will change my mind la. but i think the chances of me deciding to go would be very slim. sigh.
fcukin hell moodless for everything . sighs. bestie when euu free. go down party world leis. sighs.
]]: hope the days ahead for me would be a better day. with or without him i hope i can get my smile back.
and my eyes is alittle swollen . cos haven been like continuously cried for the past few days. ]: am having fever now. flu cough and sore throat. sighs. feeling damnit cold. shivering liaos. sighs.
sorry tiong cant pei euu go down to suntec to do shoppin with u. am free but eyes a little swollen so dont wna go out and also a litlle moodless liaos to do anything. dui bu qi.!
`be firm on who euu are. dont change your personal life into someone else . cos euu will lost your very ownself forever & might never be able to find yourself ever again. dont be someone euu aint . dont change for another one. be who you are. cos thats the real yourself . i lost my smile but i am still who i am . ill never change and ill never be another yvonnesee. ill always remained as who i am. the girl euu knew once. is still here. standing firm on her own character just that shes lost cos shes in love with him. my smile they will be back. i promise!
if its because of what i said that night , that my ex stays with me. dont get me wrong . we are merely just friends now. ): jus wanted to let euu knw th truth instead of letting euu knw later on. but i didnt knw this would be the cause of our distance.
pls do take really good care of yourself and dont ever let anything happen to you. and i hope and pray-ed hard that collin & lawlen is okays. nothing will happen to them . ]:
last updated @ 4pm
aites chatted with keong on msn. and talked. and i tear-ed . * slaps myself. nowadays my tears tend to fall easily which i really hate it . sighs. but whatever that happens. keong promise me hor. than when i wna see euu and ring euu out euu better can make it. sighs. i dont wna stay home & nua . makes me even more emo! sighs. sighs sighs.. sighs. sians la! hate it hate it hate my life now! sighs.
my heart really hurts when he said that he's leaving the group. why must friends be until like this. sometimes misunderstanding can really cause loads of loads misery . sighs.! its not about shieding or what. but sometimes things that have been said is so hurting . only when euu have lost the one. euu realise ure in th wrong. anw i respect ure decision keong. whatever it is still friends afterall okays! and i really hope things would turn out well real soon. dont think too much . and do what euu think is right ! take loads of care . and meet up soon!
I AM SO TIRED OF LIFE ! FCUK THIS SHIT ! NBCB~
tears just keeps falling and falling. ]]: ive no more control over it . ive lost myself , my smile. i need you more than anyone else.
check this out. she's real talented and innocent. swit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En0A8KGMgq8
YVONNE
That's what everyone calls & when June7th falls
That's when I'll get older too:D
-myFRIENDSTER (:
MSN; babygal_love88@hotmail.com
I'll be leading a life that I want it to be
& I'll be looking things in other perspectives not too much of the negatives.
Living life stronger everyday.
I guess I've been pretty well grown up.
Learned pretty much in life
All the rights and wrongs
After all the pains that I've went through or perhaps given by others.
Its high time I'd have to be independent.
Basically, I'm sociable and of course friendly.
But do at times, I might be a little way off too crazy.
and I'm a little temperamental but I guess my endurance are kinda of high.
So I wouldn't blow my top easily(:
Big THANKS to those who have always been there for me
I can't be more than content to have all the loved ones around me
& I would want you guys know
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Thank you will never be enough for those who have been there whenever I needed your to be
Gonna be a big girl now and have to stop relying so so much on others
There's still much more to go through.
& as for the rest.
Find it out yourself(:
-My Driving License
-TRIPS to `
`Korea
`Japan
`Australia
`Thailand
`Hongkong
`US
`Taiwan `Hongkong -Singapore Flyer -Vaios Lappy -
-
-My unique 21st Birthday
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Ai Zai Ji Yi Zhong Zhao Ni - Lam Feng