Saturday, January 12, 2008 ♥
For the last time i'll say , i love you boy.~
Skipped work today again , was having fever this morning , jervon asked me to rest at home (:
& now i'm home alone:X cause he just left for work . (:
Oh yahs.
& mum was nice ytd , to give me a chocolate ytd ahah from Royce(: taste not bad , but i think damn ex luhs that chocolate.
i was nice to give jervon the last piece when mummy wanted to give it to me :D
*clap clap*
So now i'm trying to finish the bottle of drink jervon wants me to finish:D i've been a really good girl.
Past few days kept drinking plain water & worst of all its not cold or what . ):
How sad, but for my recovery bobians luhs. have to :x
ahah . But i slept kinda of late last night.
Rolled around cause was super damn irritated by my cough and flu.
In the end , got the psp & played till low batt -.- den bobian have to slp :D
so slept ard 2plus am . woke up ard 2plus pm .
kks. i know i'm such a piggy . but no choice luhs.
sick mahs~!
& yeah , i'm still making the decisions. Hope it will be a right one & i dont find myself in shits again.
Ytd was thinking loads of stuff, oh ya & i chatted with dearie jaz & fel in msn :D
been a while .
hmm.
i msged darren & told him , its true no point only me holding on when he alr like walked away and can't be bothered if i was hurt .
i guess indeed its true , its only one sided love.
For instance if i was him , maybe if i dont love her enough so why should i be bothered about her being happy or not ?
well.
but still we're always still friends.
I rmber you once said , 'i wanna be you're best friend , so that i can keep you by my side & will not lose you'
Well, no matter whats gonna happen , i believe i'll nvr get lost & i'll be right there for you if you were to call.
To me , the place you stay in my heart no one is gonna take it away . but now i've to really have to just forget about the r/s you & i once had.
If not , i'll always be lingering in the past. NO LIFE man .
sighs.
cause by still thinking of you , i will just be leading myself into misery as well as you
Dont wanna bother you anymore.
well , i still hope someday you 'll turned back thou.
iloveyou&imissyou alot darrentanjiankai.
This will be the last time i'll be posting you're name with it.
takecare my dearest boy. You're the one i love so much & still ponders about even thou you took you're leave.
Don't wanna see anything happening to you . So pls be more sensible alright(:
x33
-Someone whom i really cling onto & wanna rely on & i loved so much.
Yet all i get was hurt in the end.
Maybe i didn't did well in my part , i'm really am sorry den .
But you're really the first guy which i never thought it will hurt so much.
& now i know what pain really is .
Someone whom make me cry so much over such a short period.
Maybe thats what really love is.
Darren thanks for making me feel love at certain points of time.
& all that we had , i'll never forget instead i'll rmber it for life
Its something that really brighten my day whenever i think of you.
we'll still be Best Friend like what you claimed right?
iloveyou `061107
Thanks for every single memories:D
-never will i forget the look in you're face when you said;
'darling i wanna tell you something , i really love you i really love you'
i never know how much it bothers you maybe thats the reason why we broke up.
I will never want anything to happen to you.
& stop being so beng luhs if can.
Whats the use of being so beng , lead you to nowhere.
You'll always remain that cute in my heart & that charming :x
But i love you for who you are at that point of time up till now.
How to explain ? well there's no need to .
just wanna you to take care & i really wanna meet ue up soon :D
-& the time when i had you by myself the whole entire night.
The day when i really felt you're love all my myself.
The attention you show & the love you showered down.
Its a decision that i made that i'll never regret.
Spending the night with you instead of going to club.
Talked through the entire night till around 4plus am coming 5.
Then i had you're arms around me while i fall asleep, the very next thing in the morning.
was you're cute face i always been wanting to see.
i had you're morning kiss.
while you were still asleep i took this.
thou the entire night you was really noisy & i could hardly fall asleep but it was nice.
cos this day itself , i knew somehow you still care. maybe it just me comforting myself. but well.
i just feel this way (:
& when we wanted to smoke so badly , we would go to the toilet in you're room to smoke.
next morning the first thing you're mother said.
'korkor did you're smoke ytd, i smell cig' haha .
den you started 'umchio' haah . almost gave yourself away.
i had a wonderful night with you.
just purely with you're love in it.
221107
-& now everything that we once behold & had .
Its time for me to put it back in the past.
thou i still miss the time you would ring me up and talked.
the msges you send every now & den even bfore you go to slp.
something that will just make me feel so secured.
Now its gone totally over btw both of us.
Aint able to become couples thou , but i strongly believe theres a chance to still be friends right?
maybe we didnt understand each other well enough .
& jump into a r/s too quickly.
sorry if you've suffered like what you said on the day you was drunk on you're b'day.
hmm.
i promise i'll go through it with you. But i guess both of us can't take it anymore.
I hope you're sensible enough to know whats right & wrong lers.
Don't wanna see you getting into trouble thats not in need alright?
Love you DARRENTANJIANKAI luhs. x33
goodluck in the course you're taking thou.
with loves~ & best wishes~
-
-
-
`Been a while since i gave my mind a thoroughly thinking throughout the night
I hope my decision wouldn't be wrong.
`But now i still can't find a choice that i'm gonna made,
that i wouldn't regret.
`i know whats right & wrong ,
& i wanna be fair to you.
`Now i understand ,
what it feels , how it really pains.
`In life ,
There's so many things for us to learn & go thr.
`Different views & perspectives ,
Different choices & decisions made.
`We've to learn to cherish all that we have now .
Before losing them far away & may never get them back by our sides
`Then we'll regret.
I don't wanna be that person.
`Life is really fragile ,
we can just go anytime.
`I've to be a lil more sensible now .
& treasure all that i have .
`Be it friends , family or even someone i love.
You guys are the one who make my life goes smiling everyday.
`I don't wanna realise after losing ppl that i love,
then i come to cry .
`i'll try to be sensible
& learn make decisions which is really right.
`Give me time.
I believe i can. (:
Skipped work today again , was having fever this morning , jervon asked me to rest at home (:
& now i'm home alone:X cause he just left for work . (:
Oh yahs.
& mum was nice ytd , to give me a chocolate ytd ahah from Royce(: taste not bad , but i think damn ex luhs that chocolate.
i was nice to give jervon the last piece when mummy wanted to give it to me :D
*clap clap*
So now i'm trying to finish the bottle of drink jervon wants me to finish:D i've been a really good girl.
Past few days kept drinking plain water & worst of all its not cold or what . ):
How sad, but for my recovery bobians luhs. have to :x
ahah . But i slept kinda of late last night.
Rolled around cause was super damn irritated by my cough and flu.
In the end , got the psp & played till low batt -.- den bobian have to slp :D
so slept ard 2plus am . woke up ard 2plus pm .
kks. i know i'm such a piggy . but no choice luhs.
sick mahs~!
& yeah , i'm still making the decisions. Hope it will be a right one & i dont find myself in shits again.
Ytd was thinking loads of stuff, oh ya & i chatted with dearie jaz & fel in msn :D
been a while .
hmm.
i msged darren & told him , its true no point only me holding on when he alr like walked away and can't be bothered if i was hurt .
i guess indeed its true , its only one sided love.
For instance if i was him , maybe if i dont love her enough so why should i be bothered about her being happy or not ?
well.
but still we're always still friends.
I rmber you once said , 'i wanna be you're best friend , so that i can keep you by my side & will not lose you'
Well, no matter whats gonna happen , i believe i'll nvr get lost & i'll be right there for you if you were to call.
To me , the place you stay in my heart no one is gonna take it away . but now i've to really have to just forget about the r/s you & i once had.
If not , i'll always be lingering in the past. NO LIFE man .
sighs.
cause by still thinking of you , i will just be leading myself into misery as well as you
Dont wanna bother you anymore.
well , i still hope someday you 'll turned back thou.
iloveyou&imissyou alot darrentanjiankai.
This will be the last time i'll be posting you're name with it.
takecare my dearest boy. You're the one i love so much & still ponders about even thou you took you're leave.
Don't wanna see anything happening to you . So pls be more sensible alright(:
x33
-Someone whom i really cling onto & wanna rely on & i loved so much.
Yet all i get was hurt in the end.
Maybe i didn't did well in my part , i'm really am sorry den .
But you're really the first guy which i never thought it will hurt so much.
& now i know what pain really is .
Someone whom make me cry so much over such a short period.
Maybe thats what really love is.
Darren thanks for making me feel love at certain points of time.
& all that we had , i'll never forget instead i'll rmber it for life
Its something that really brighten my day whenever i think of you.
we'll still be Best Friend like what you claimed right?
iloveyou `061107
Thanks for every single memories:D
-never will i forget the look in you're face when you said;'darling i wanna tell you something , i really love you i really love you'
i never know how much it bothers you maybe thats the reason why we broke up.
I will never want anything to happen to you.
& stop being so beng luhs if can.
Whats the use of being so beng , lead you to nowhere.
You'll always remain that cute in my heart & that charming :x
But i love you for who you are at that point of time up till now.
How to explain ? well there's no need to .
just wanna you to take care & i really wanna meet ue up soon :D
-& the time when i had you by myself the whole entire night.The day when i really felt you're love all my myself.
The attention you show & the love you showered down.
Its a decision that i made that i'll never regret.
Spending the night with you instead of going to club.
Talked through the entire night till around 4plus am coming 5.
Then i had you're arms around me while i fall asleep, the very next thing in the morning.
was you're cute face i always been wanting to see.
i had you're morning kiss.
while you were still asleep i took this.
thou the entire night you was really noisy & i could hardly fall asleep but it was nice.
cos this day itself , i knew somehow you still care. maybe it just me comforting myself. but well.
i just feel this way (:
& when we wanted to smoke so badly , we would go to the toilet in you're room to smoke.
next morning the first thing you're mother said.
'korkor did you're smoke ytd, i smell cig' haha .
den you started 'umchio' haah . almost gave yourself away.
i had a wonderful night with you.
just purely with you're love in it.
221107
-& now everything that we once behold & had .Its time for me to put it back in the past.
thou i still miss the time you would ring me up and talked.
the msges you send every now & den even bfore you go to slp.
something that will just make me feel so secured.
Now its gone totally over btw both of us.
Aint able to become couples thou , but i strongly believe theres a chance to still be friends right?
maybe we didnt understand each other well enough .
& jump into a r/s too quickly.
sorry if you've suffered like what you said on the day you was drunk on you're b'day.
hmm.
i promise i'll go through it with you. But i guess both of us can't take it anymore.
I hope you're sensible enough to know whats right & wrong lers.
Don't wanna see you getting into trouble thats not in need alright?
Love you DARRENTANJIANKAI luhs. x33
goodluck in the course you're taking thou.
with loves~ & best wishes~
-
-
-
`Been a while since i gave my mind a thoroughly thinking throughout the night
I hope my decision wouldn't be wrong.
`But now i still can't find a choice that i'm gonna made,
that i wouldn't regret.
`i know whats right & wrong ,
& i wanna be fair to you.
`Now i understand ,
what it feels , how it really pains.
`In life ,
There's so many things for us to learn & go thr.
`Different views & perspectives ,
Different choices & decisions made.
`We've to learn to cherish all that we have now .
Before losing them far away & may never get them back by our sides
`Then we'll regret.
I don't wanna be that person.
`Life is really fragile ,
we can just go anytime.
`I've to be a lil more sensible now .
& treasure all that i have .
`Be it friends , family or even someone i love.
You guys are the one who make my life goes smiling everyday.
`I don't wanna realise after losing ppl that i love,
then i come to cry .
`i'll try to be sensible
& learn make decisions which is really right.
`Give me time.
I believe i can. (:
Sorry all if you've felt that i took changes , i guess i really did after the r/s i had with him.
But well , i will be who i am now & really be the yvonne that all know .
:D
nothing would turn out well for one sided love.
i got that in mind lers.
:D
Well , now we're still friends and as for me , i wouldn't go into a r/s back so fast.
Give me time to sort out my feelings right.
but still .
darren , that day when you say can meet up & i can't make it .
i hope someday real soon . we will meet up soon .
cause i miss you.
haha
(:
gonna go watch tv.
den audi .
den rest.
-❤waves
`UPdates @ 0124am
I'm supposed to be sleeping now yet i'm still awake(: Can't fall asleep so many things are going through my mind now.
Racking my brains thou & my feelings they are all so tight up & messed
Was talking to Huimei in MSN (: shes offline now.
Thanks girl for the compliments but i think i'm not able to do it. Well , i hope things over you're side would go well too :D
Lets buck up and run towards our goal:DD
Oh yah , chatted with Eugene too .
& he intro this song.
Check it out , its really nice.
As the song plays , my heart there's a feeling i wanna shout it loud.
& scream all my heartfelt feelings out ):
Something thats holding me back from getting anew ,
& it leading me nowhere.
Going round & round ,
I'll never reach my destination.
I wanna get out of the maze ,
wanna get to somewhere i wanna be.
I dont wanna hold it on anymore,
I wanna let go of it & just leave it as memories.
I wanna get out of it & lead the life i've been leading,
& not always going back at the time you walked away ,
Don't wanna linger onto it anymore , its just leading me back to misery
By loving you continuously , i believe its just torturing my ownself.
Its a fact , i miss you alot , but i told myself i shouldn't do that anymore , there's no point going through it ,
the pain over and over again.
In the end , the outcome , what do i get in return ,
Its not you're love , or you're sympathy. Not even a word of concern ,
Its myself , in the dark room crying out loud deep down.
Shedding tears i shouldn't be shedding. Thinking stuff that i should have long time forgotten):
& why do you just mean so much to me , i've never had this kinda of problems.
This happens to be the first & i never knew it was so hard to face ,
moreover its facing it thr alone.
I've lost my directions of where i should turn to now or should i just leave it as what it is.
I fell back hard lost all my strengths to pick myself up once again.
& i'm tearing now while i type. How silly luhs.
):
I gave in too much , i poured in too much of feeling .
I put myself into the r/s too deep down.
I can't find myself walking out myself.
i'm always thinking back,
The time when you cried the first time you shed tear i was really lost.
the time first time i cried, you wiped away my tears & asked with concern.
you okay?
You called in the night & talked with me with a sweet voice of youres that i long to hear.
msges you send in the night to let me know you're fine.
hugs & kisses you leave behind whenever we bid goodbyes and leave for home.
walking back tgt hand in hand , sitting cab & going heading for home.
when you said you love me.
You said you would change for the better , & love me even more.
& that you would take care of me forever when you asked me to be you're girl on that very day :(
Long talks that we once had , when you were back from drinking sessions.
Meeting up with you , & had a wonderful night.
Times when i had you're love & that i can't forget
):
Good things they doesnt last , you're always emphasizing at this sentence when we're tgt.
-Why do all good things have to come tumbling down all at once.
I really can't take it, i don't know how long more i can hold onto.
I don't know how to face it no more.
Someone be nice & lead me out of this maze , show me what true love is , show me what true friendship means?
& when those who claims they are the best of all turns out to be the one who hurt you most.
omg .
what the fuck did i do ?!~ to deserve all this fcuk shit.
I know , thr lessons we'll grow. But god , do you think i can manage my feeling by throwing everything straight down at one shot?
now i am telling you , i can't manage it , & i breaking down.
I seems to really alright , just on the outside.
DEEP down inside it bleeding like fcuk~
God just be nice , take me away to somewhere far away , stop this suffering that i'm having right now.
I can't take it anymore , i really don't know how to face all this shits.
Bring me away , i've enjoyed more den enough):
And as I look into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from God above
For me to love
To hold and idolize
And as I hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
'Til life is gone
I'll keep your loving near
And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to do
Is follow you
To lighten off my load
You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You open doors that close
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose
And when I feel like hope is gone
You give me strength to carry on
Each time I look at you
There's something new
To keep our loving strong
I hear you whisper in my ear
All of the words I long to hear
Of how you'll always be
Here next to me
To wipe away my tears
And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to do is follow you
To lighten off my load
You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You open doors that close
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose
And though the seasons change
Our love remains the same
Just like a rose
You face the thunder
When the sunshine turns to rain
Just like a rose
You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You open doors that close
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose
Whoa like a rose (just like a rose)
You treat me like a rose (just like a rose)
No no no no
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose
-& my cough is getting worst , my throat hurts so badly now , & my flu is so sucky~
argh )):
painful painful painful.
Haven fall sick for such long time. REALLY LUHS
damn,
stupid stupid .
Never fall sick for such a long time already , damnit .
now i'm sick for so so so long.
think i'm dying soon .
:x
hhahahah
((:
kks.
listen to the songs above.
`Going off at 0148am (:
-big wide smiles
cough cough.
-Be nice & lead me out of this maze thats leading me nowhere.
Bring me out & let me find my directions once again.
& i wanna find back myself.
.
.
.
.
.
Walking down the road alone when we used to walked side by side,
But now the same route that i'm taking , this time round i'm walking it down alone.
IF love were only to be simple & dull,
With no worries & tears.
How nice it would be but that only happens in fairytale story,
It'll never happens in reality.
& when i have the chance to hear you're voice or to see you again,
I never wanna say goodbye & turned my back away.
WORDS i long to hear from you're lips,
i finally hear you whispering it to me.
How can i just take as though nothing have happen ,
I simply can't do that.
Its just hard to accept that this is a FACT.
The time when i felt neglected felt un-loved by you,
You took the effort to change a little & prove that you cared a little.
Everything is changing now ,
Its changing so fast that i find it hard to adapt.
Fate twirl us around ,
feeling just like a clown.
But every time the sight of you appear in my mind,
I'll just simply tear.
Thing have took change,
My heart they are still the same.
When darkness start to come down ,
i know you're my light that will shone me the way.
But now i'm all alone ,
all my myself to face things thats coming in my way.
As the music goes ,
My heart they start to bleed.
Its bleeding so profusely ,
I can't find an antidote to stop the pain.
A matter of time , A matter of when , A matter of why.
That this thinking of you right by my side is still within my thoughts.
Its silly dumb naive to still think this way ,
Cause you'll never return by my side.
Told myself to be a strong girl ,
Solve things thats gonna come in the way & not run away.
Someone be nice ,
Come to my side & show me the way out of this maze.
No doubt , i'm still holding on hopes,
Cause all that we had , how can i forget?
Its not as simple as opening a candy & throw away the wraper
Its me having the candy thou the candy has finished yet i'm still keeping the wraper deep down.
Time they don't heal the pain ,
They just let you get used to the pain.
& its still lingering around that somehow ,
You'd turned back you're way.
Feelings & my heart would lead me
to where i should go & belong.
Still i hope ,
Down the road , i have you by my side
The thought of you, would just brighten up my day.
❤takecare my dearest boy & you know i'm always there:D❤
Yvonne ♥
♥ The girl.
YVONNE
That's what everyone calls & when June7th falls
That's when I'll get older too:D
-myFRIENDSTER (:
MSN; babygal_love88@hotmail.com
I'll be leading a life that I want it to be
& I'll be looking things in other perspectives not too much of the negatives.
Living life stronger everyday.
I guess I've been pretty well grown up.
Learned pretty much in life
All the rights and wrongs
After all the pains that I've went through or perhaps given by others.
Its high time I'd have to be independent.
Basically, I'm sociable and of course friendly.
But do at times, I might be a little way off too crazy.
and I'm a little temperamental but I guess my endurance are kinda of high.
So I wouldn't blow my top easily(:
Big THANKS to those who have always been there for me
I can't be more than content to have all the loved ones around me
& I would want you guys know
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Thank you will never be enough for those who have been there whenever I needed your to be
Gonna be a big girl now and have to stop relying so so much on others
There's still much more to go through.
& as for the rest.
Find it out yourself(:
My Desires♥
♥ I want!
-My Driving License
-TRIPS to `
`Korea
`Japan
`Australia
`Thailand
`Hongkong
`US
`Taiwan `Hongkong -Singapore Flyer -Vaios Lappy -
-
-My unique 21st Birthday
<
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HUIMEI♥
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Entertainments ♥
♥ MUSIC
Ai Zai Ji Yi Zhong Zhao Ni - Lam Feng